Really Hurting

I am so disappointed sad confused. I don't even know what words to use to encompass how crummy I feel. Back in 6th grade I made a friend that I thought would be a friend for life. We were inseparable. Always with each other and when we weren't with each other we were on the phone with each other. In high school we kind of grew apart because we were in different schools but in college we found each other and basically picked up where we left off. Then again we drifted apart but when I got pregnant with Nick I called her up and she and I again picked up right where we left off. She came over every week, she was there for the birth of 2 of my kids and acted like a member of the family. About 2 years ago she got married and I was in the wedding and almost immediately after the wedding I stopped hearing from her. I call her and she doesn't answer. I leave messages and she doesn't call back. I text and she never replies. I have run into her in her place of work a couple of times and she has talked to me and seems fine but then I never hear from her after that. About 10 months ago I ran into her and she was all excited and told me that her and her husband were going to start trying to have a baby. She said to get ready because it wouldn't be long until I got a call from her telling me she was pregnant. I told her I couldn't wait to get that call. Well the other day I was on the computer and just randomly asked her sister how she was doing (since I haven't heard from her since that day) and she said that she had just had a baby that morning!!!! I can not believe that. I had no idea she was even pregnant let alone that she just had a baby. Since then I have texted her and left messages with her and still no response.

I can't even begin to explain how hurt I am. I feel so terrible that I didn't know anything about any of this. I don't understand how you can be so close for so long and then one day that's it and you don't speak anymore. I have asked if I did something and apologized for whatever it is that I did, but that hasn't helped at all. I am just so bummed that I have missed such an important time in her life.

I don't know what I did if anything and I don't know how to get back in touch with her. It is just so sad to me to think that we were that close and she didn't even want to tell me she was pregnant.

I am trying really hard to get over this but it really bothers me. I know I can't change it and at some point I should give up and take the hint. Part of says that if I give up then I have no one to blame for losing touch but myself but the other part says that if she wanted to talk to me she would call.

In the end it is all very sad to me and I guess I just need to accept it and move on from it but I am still sad to see the friendship go.